Dun Dun Dunnn… Ass play, are you in or out?
Ass — Everyone loves to look but no one wants to touch them or have theirs touched! But recent surveys suggest that 15% of American adults have experienced some form of anal sex. Anal play is on the rise, more and more women are coming around to the idea and upon hearing from others how great it can feel, I think more women are becoming curious. Plenty of men are into pleasing their partner anally by rimming (tonguing) or fingering and even going all the way with anal sex; however very few will let the reverse happen.
As I consistently say, communication is KEY. Anal is not an easy subject to bring up but it’s not something you surprise your partner with EVER! Not only because it’s ethically wrong but because it can be painfully wrong as well. Anal in all honesty can get painful, it takes a relaxed person to enjoy all it has to offer, so surprising your partner will only make for a tense and uncomfortable situation. Alternatively, you can hint at the idea that you’d like to explore the area, and see how they respond. Maybe wander over while going down on them or move their hands toward your ass and see if they respond positively. You can start slow, no need to always enter the anus — the surrounding tissue is richly endowed with nerves highly sensitive to erotic touch. So massaging or licking just the hole provides a nice feeling if one isn’t ready to go all the way. I quite enjoy a slip of a finger while my partner has me doggy style.
It’s commonly known that a majority of straight men reject the idea of anything near their ass.
“Anal for straight men has always been a taboo. In part because of a false idea of emasculation and partly because of the “ew” factor. Those insecurities, mostly rooted in internalized homophobia, have kept straight guys from getting in on butt play.” — GQ.com
Guys, there are plenty of ways to explore your bottom region and test if you like it. Solo or with a partner (male or female!), using fingers or adding toys into the mix. Whatever it may be, don’t let silly taboos keep you from trying it… you don’t know what you’re missing.
“Orgasming while having your prostate stimulated is the holy grail of orgasms.” As Mark Simpson put it in the Telegraph, stimulating your prostate can give you “mind-blowing, leg-shaking, eye-rolling, neighbour-panicking pleasure.” — Vice.com
The prostate, also known as the P-spot, is a hidden treasure cove of pleasures. Your nerve endings will give you sensations you wouldn’t be able to achieve otherwise. It’s located about 2–3 inches into the anus, so for guys that are hesitant, no more than one finger (clean, short nail) needs to be inserted to achieve the orgasmic experience. I suggest trying it out yourself next time you masturbate!
Beginners guide to anal sex:
1. Communicate — Bring it up and see if your partner is down! If your partner is a straight man, good luck! lol
2. Prep/Clean — Wash the area with soap and water really well in the shower. For the extra mile one might also use an enema before washing. Some out there suggest douching. I know people who prep for days, even with their diet, only consuming fruits and veggies.
*Note: just because it’s the ass, you should still wear a condom*
3. Lube!!!! — Lubricating that ass is so important because the anus is not self lubricating like the vagina, and with the skin around the anus being so sensitive, tears are likely if you are inserting anything in there without proper lubrication.
*Spit alone for anal sex will not cut it!*
4. Relax — If you aren’t relaxed then you have already lost at this game. Best to try anal after an orgasm or two, the body is relaxed and ready for more fun.
5. Nice and Slow — Start slow, like really really slow.
6. Clean up — Never go from ass to vagina or mouth. And always clean off after any anal play.
Anal isn’t for everyone, but if you are thinking of trying it out, I hope this helps! Have fun, be safe!