The gift of self: a lesson in self bondage

2 min read

How often have you fantasized about having your lover come home to find you beautifully bound and helpless, waiting to be taken?

Yet been frustrated because it’s not easy to do in any convincing sense, because you can’t tie the final knots properly, and you don’t want to use clumsy handcuffs and locks.

Yes it can be done, but be very careful. This method really works, and there’s no way out after you’ve tied yourself. Keep a craft knife or scissors handy somewhere within reach so you can free yourself if you have to.

This technique also needs practice to make it work smoothly, convincingly and safely — bondage can be a dangerous activity if you are careless or take stupid risks.

So… Step 1

Take a length of thinnish cord, and use about 6 turns to form into an “O”, just big enough to slide your wrists into, one from each side.

Do this a few times to get the size right.

Step 2

Make the “O” into an 8, by pressing in the middle, still with the loops big enough to slip your hands into as before. Now take a separate length of the same cord, about 5–6ft long, and make a loop with a slipknot at one end.

Now slip that loop over the “O” and tighten it to close the “8”.

Get the sizing right here, because your wrists have to fit into those loops later, behind your back. Make them as small as possible.

Tie the other end of the 6ft length to something firm, and practice jerking it tight in front a few times until you get it just right.

Step 3

Tie yourself into a full body harness in whichever way pleases you — there’s dozens of ways to do that — as tight as you want.

But however you do it, you MUST create a central anchor knot as high up between your shoulder blades as possible.


Now tie your legs in whatever way you want and get into a kneeling position, probably on the bed, or wherever you want to be “found” — that’s very much up to you.

At this point gags are optional — but again BE VERY CAREFUL.

My personal advice is not to be gagged and alone.

Step 4

You are in a kneeling position. You take the long thin cord and the figure 8 you’ve just made and hold it behind your back. Pass the loose end up over the central anchor point between your shoulder blades and pull it down, so that the wrist loop is hanging loose down your back but as high up as possible.

Take the trailing end of the thin cord and lean back as far as you can to your ankles. Tie it off to them, making that length as short as you can manage. Practice a few times.

Now reach behind you and slip your wrists into the loop, one from each side as you practiced in front earlier.

Step 5

NOW — the moment of no return!

Let yourself fall forward.

Your legs will spring back under muscle tension and snap the loop closed and at the same time jerk your wrists tight and high up your back.

You cannot free yourself because you can’t bring your legs back to their original position. Your leg muscles will strain outwards against the cord, while your wrists will try to pull in the opposite direction

Keep a craft knife within reach in case you change your mind — there’s no other way out!!!! If you do want to free yourself, you can only do it by cutting the cord between your wrists and ankles.


I write novels and verse from my heart (Francesca Anderssen on Amazon) to reflect my own lifestyle, where loving is between two people who care deeply for one another, and give in the fullest sense of the word. I enjoy passing on things I’ve learned, in the hope that others will enjoy all the pleasure I have experienced.

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