This story began long ago. It began when the possibility wasn’t any more than an idea, a wisp of thought that, maybe, one day, but no more than that. As impossible as once upon a time….
Any set of circumstances could have made it impossible, any random event could have set another reality in motion and in place. But the universe joined the conspiracy, as it does when we imagine, ordering and aligning, through some mechanism and architecture far beyond us, yet of us. We think of love as a human emotion when it seems much more likely it is the fundamental and organizing principle of the universe as a whole. What we feel is a shadow of the real force of love operating across great spans of time and space.
Years ago, I wrote you of the need to see you once again, to touch and hold and know. Of the bond that stretched and strained but held and held me still, held us so that currents carried us far apart, now the time had come to circle back once more.
And here we are, counting down first months, then weeks, now days until you are here and we are one. It is a time of disbelief, that this moment so long awaited cannot be so close, I dare not breathe at times for fear I will disturb the links between now and then and make it not so; but it is, and already real actions are taken. Tickets bought. Times arranged. You send me ideas of romantic notions and I take notes. A picnic. The flamenco. I know you are packing red lace. I notice the florist as I walk home. Planning for the days that will be ours.
Then, I wrote you:
I need to posses you utterly and completely alone first.
I have imagined that, the sex wild and rough, and then tender and passionate, slowly, deeply, loving each and every inch of you. Taking and being taken until we are both satisfied and drained. Imagined the marks of my fingers and teeth on your body, my back raked where you have dug into me with your nails, my neck bruised and red from your teeth and lips. Deliciously depleted. Spent.
Only then, only after, do we meet as three. Then, when I unbutton your blouse, he sees where I have possessed you, he sees the marks of your passion on my shoulders and back. When you tremble at his mouth as he takes your nipple, it is with the tenderness and memory of my lips and my fingers teasing you, and when you gasp as his hand slides between your legs it is because you are aching from my cock inside you.
Oh, to pull back your blouse and unhook your bra for him to suck your breasts, as you feel me hard behind you, to ease down your panties and feel you already wet, dripping with desire and memory…
I come back to the story to play and to imagine, not so much fantasy now as planning. For, now, we have our chance for all we desire and dream to become real.
We have made the ride in the cab many times. Traveling through a fantasy night. The lights of the oncoming traffic brighten your face. The sway of the car bringing our shoulders together. Your hand in mine. You bring our hands to your lap and I stroke the inseam of your jeans, just where the seam aligns with your womanhood, you press closer and I hear the catch in your breath. Hear a moan cut off, see the intensity of your longing in flicker frames as we pass by the streetlights on the highway. You lean close and kiss me and I look into your eyes.
“Soon, darling,” I whisper.
Your lips say yes but no sound escapes. Only a smile at once impatient and expectant.
At the house, I pay the cabbie and carry your bags through the gate. As the gate closes behind us I take you in my arms and there is no hesitation now, only the deep urgency of a moment finally come. Our tongues caress, and the kiss is long, I look at your face in the moonlight and remember each line and curve. Loving again the softness of your hair, the scent of your perfume, the feel of your breasts crushed to me. The way you close your eyes and murmur my name. It is a familiar and exquisitely new moment. Something we know so well and the heart-aching wonder of someone new.
In the house, I take your coat and you bring my hand to your breast. I feel your heart racing. You glance down and see how my cock strains. You stroke me with one finger, then grip me tightly.
I lead you upstairs; the marble stairway, the paintings, you ignore them all. We have eyes only for each other. We pause by the bed and I unbutton your blouse, kissing your neck and shoulder, kneeling to unzip your jeans, easing them over your hips and down. Kissing your thighs, kissing your pussy through your red silk panties. You hold my head there rocking slightly. I push you back so you fall onto the bed, catching as you go so you land gently. Kneeling between your legs I kiss and lick your pussy, until your panties are soaked and your legs are around my shoulders and your hips strain upward.
You try to turn and reach for my cock but I hold your hands by your sides, pinning you. “Not yet,” my voice is hoarse with desire. “I want to make you come. I want you out of your mind with desire and lust.”
I take your panties off and let the tip of my tongue glide from the cleft of your ass all the way to the top of your pussy, pausing to suck in your clitoris, letting my tongue slip between your lips, pausing now and then to press, then moving on. Again and again, letting the motion build, then sliding one finger inside you, then two. Curling them up so you can ride them just the way you want to. Tongue and fingers, you ride me. Your motion becoming stronger and stronger.
I feel passion’s tension building in you, a contraction deep within, a clench in your belly. You toss and moan, you clamp my head with your thighs, straining upward, crying out. Faster now, faster, sometimes lightly, then pressing harder, letting the feelings build and grow until you must release, exploding. I feel you tighten inside, feel you tighten around my fingers, feel the pulse of you coming in waves you can only ride, not control or direct, only let them course through you. You are gasping when I rise above you, still pulsing with the waves of your orgasm as I slide into you, long and deep and slow at first this loving. Long and deep and slow. Holding deep inside you, holding each other, kissing, whispering of love and need and more, please baby more, and never stop and always and forever.
This is where we start, this is our reunion. This is the foundation of our fantasy, and all the love we make and do in this time of ours will be built on this and come from this source.