Sexus Hexus Vexus

2 min read

I’ve had good sex and hood sex;

Meet sex, greet sex and sweet sex.

I’ve had flirty sex and dirty sex, and coming in at 4:30 sex.

I’ve had happy hour sex, flower power sex,

Hot shower sex, and up-in-the-clock-tower sex.

I’ve had single sex, double sex, trouble sex and bubbles sex;

Whore sex, shore sex, floor sex, store sex, and up against the door sex.

I’ve had anal sex and banal sex; casual sex and causal sex;

Break-up sex, make-up sex, shake-up sex and fake sex;

I’ve had great sex and hate sex, jealous sex and zealous sex,

Revenge sex and stone-henge sex;

Binge sex, unhinged sex, grin sex and living-in-sin sex.

I’ve had sex for breakfast, sex for lunch,

Sex for dinner, sex for brunch;

Sweaty Saturday night tequila sex;

Lazy, drowsy Sunday morning sunshine sex;

I’ve had beach sex, bleacher sex,

Student sex and teacher sex;

Sex in the kitchen, sex in the hall, sex before I took a great fall.

I’ve had upside-down sex, turned around sex,

Country livin’ and way downtown sex;

Sex at twilight, sex at dawn,

Sex for the angels, and with villainous spawn;

Sex with the sun and sex with the moon;

Sex like a fork and sex like spoons;

I’ve had doggy sex and soggy sex,

Pounding sex and hounding sex,

Flaunting sex, haunting sex, taunting sex and daunting sex.

I’ve had sex on a mountain, sex on the grass,

Sex on my mind and sex on my ass.

I’ve had sex like the fury of a winter storm,

Sex in the bathroom of the girls’ dorm;

Sex at a bash, sex on hash, sex for cash and sex totally trashed.

I’ve had sex at a rally, sex in the alley,

Sex with Venus and with Long, Tall Sally;

Sex in the surf, sex on the turf,

Sex with Barbie and sex with a Smurf

Sex in a tux and sex in the buff,

Sex on a whim, and sex on a bluff;

Sex when I was starving, sex when I was stuffed.

I’ve had smart sex and darts sex,

Tangled limbs and parts sex;

Poker sex and joker sex,

While deaf, dumb and blind sex;

Straight sex, flush sex, two pair sex ,

Full house sex, and sex with four of a kind.

I’ve had sex with the top down, sex at a flop-down.

I’ve had sex to Sinatra, sex in Sumatra,

Sex on a merry-go-round;

I’ve had sex on a grab, sex in a cab,

Sex with the lost and profound.

I’ve had sex on the sea, sex in the air,

Sex on a balcony, sex on the stair,

Sex that was brutal, sex at the Faire,

Sex with panache in the Devil’s own lair.

I’ve had sex that was weak, sex that was strong,

Sex that was right, left, center, and wrong.

I’ve had sex that was gentle, sex that was rough,

Sex that involved all kinds of kinky stuff.

I’ve had sex that was hot, sex that was cool,

Sex like a knave, sex like a fool,

Swing and a miss sex, grand slam hit sex,

Slow as molasses and lickety-split sex.

I’ve had sex that was secret, sex that was news,

And sex as a cure for the summertime blues;

Sex that was false, sex that was true,

Sex way too early, and long overdue.

I’ve had swinging sex and winging sex,

Stinging sex and singing sex,

Sex in a hurry, sex in a huff,

And every kind of sex but “enough.”

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