DIY Sex Toys

5 min read

“What are you looking for?” Sonia asked. “Ummm, an orgasm,” Ann said.

Sonia made the frequent trips to The Home Depot easier. Ann always struggled to find what she was looking for and Sonia always seemed to be there to help. She gave good tips on everything from lawn care to LED lighting. When Ann’s cart was sufficiently full, Sonia even let her skip the long lines to check out at customer service.

Fixing up a house meant becoming a regular at a favorite store for do-it-yourself homebuyers, but Ann found herself making other excuses to go: extra nails, a door stopper for an empty room, spare Christmas lights. Her husband joked that Ann had a crush on Sonia and asked for updates every time she came home from a “Sonia run.”

Ann laughed it off. She admitted there was something fiery about Sonia, with her hint of red hair pulled back tight in a French braid. Ann thought Sonia was in great shape for her age — probably her early 40s. But Ann denied there was anything sexual about her “appreciation” of Sonia. That was until she woke up from a dream early one Sunday morning.

“I just had a crazy dream about Sonia,” she said.

Craig quickly rolled out of his sleep to face Ann. “Do tell,” he said.

“I was walking around aimlessly through the aisles, which went as high as I could see,” said Ann. “Sonia appeared from nowhere looking mostly normal but with a cheesy grin.”

Sonia was wearing her puffy, gray sweatshirt under her orange apron, which had her name written graffiti-style with a Sharpie. Her face was glowing. All Ann saw below Sonia’s apron was bare legs and steel toe boots.

“What are you looking for?” Sonia asked.

It took Ann a few moments to find her words. “Ummm, an orgasm,” she said, sounding confused but speaking as if she expected to be pointed to the right aisle.

“Hmmm,” Sonia said. “I think we can find something. Let’s take a look.”

Ann followed Sonia and her big, sexy butt through the aisles. “I couldn’t keep myself from pinching her ass,” said Ann. “It just made her giggle and she hurried along.”

The first tool Sonia showed Ann was a leaf blower. Sonia asked Ann to hold her apron. She took off her sweatshirt and put on bright red latex gloves that went to her elbows. “For the vibrations,” she said.

It took some pumping of the gas and a few jerks of the pull cord before the blower would start. Sonia began to shout instructions. “Most of the tools in this store that generate sufficient vibrations for an orgasm could also kill you in ways even the greatest thrill-seeker wouldn’t want to read about in her obituary,” she said. “And forget about tub toys.

“This one gets really hot around the engine,” she continued, pointing to the danger zones. “It will burn your bush if you know what I mean. Also, if this screen comes unlatched there are blades under there. They’ll tear you up! Be careful.”

Sonia tied her sweatshirt around the engine and started pulling the leaf blower into her crotch. After a few minutes she was really forcing herself onto the handle, “rhythmically bobbing up and down on it,” said Ann. “She had this beautiful look on her face. Her eyes were locked on mine until the very last moments when her mouth dropped and she started to orgasm. She let out a burst of high-pitched screams that I could hear over the blower.

“As an observer of the dream, all I wanted to do was feel her body and kiss her,” Ann continued. “But the dream version of me was still in shopping mode. I told her I wasn’t much of a ‘pro-user’ and I wondered if she had something safer.”

Craig had been touching Ann as she recounted the story and by the time he finally got under her panties he could feel how excited she was. “This is a long, detailed dream,” he said, slipping his fingers around her clit.

Ann took a deep breath. “It was one of those long, tormenting, morning dreams,” she said. “I didn’t want it to end.”

“Was that it?” asked Craig.

“No,” said Ann. “It gets much hotter.”

Sonia seemed unfazed. She put her apron back on and kept looking. When they had gone through every aisle Ann was starting to get anxious. But Sonia’s eyes brightened. “Of course! The garden section,” she said, grabbing Ann’s hand to lead her to a row of power washers outside. Sonia connected one of the power washers to an outdoor faucet and turned it on as high as it would go. When she hit the power switch, it made a loud, lumbering noise.

“This is a lot safer,” she said, again shouting instructions. “I know water and electricity is a scary combination but the wire is covered with a thick, rubber padding. I’m pretty sure no one has been electrocuted by these, but the vibrations sure are killer.”

She pulled the hose and its metal coils through her legs and up into her privates, and then pulled the trigger. “Ohhh, fuck,” she said immediately, sounding feeble and starting to squiggle. She orgasmed in less than a minute.

“OK, you need a toy,” said Craig.

“But the kids will be awake soon,” said Ann.

“Well, then I’ll find a big one,” he said.

He returned with a Magic Wand and an extension cord to plug it into. Ann took off her PJs and underwear. She grabbed some lube from the nightstand and spread it over her pussy with the wand, never missing a beat.

The hose seemed to feed off Sonia’s gyrating energy. The hose was becoming thick and Sonia was losing control of the head, which was taking on the free will of a water-breathing dragon. A jet of water shot out all around them, knocking products off the shelves from miles above them and ripping into bags of soil and mulch. Sonia could have released the trigger at any point but instead she implored Ann to help her “tame the beast.”

“I jumped on and straddled the hose behind Sonia,” said Ann, clicking the Magic Wand to make it go higher. “Only then did I realize I didn’t have any clothes on. I forced my pussy down hard on the hose and was nearly paralyzed by its pulsations. But it seemed to, I don’t know, tame the energy it was absorbing from Sonia. The hose calmed down enough for us to control it but the powerful stream did not let up, eating into the pavement in front of us and shooting water back on us like an upside-down torrent that soaked us to the bone.”

Ann got close to Sonia, as if they were on horseback, and Sonia pulled the hose back and forth between their legs. Ann coddled Sonia’s breasts and Sonia reached behind with one hand to squeeze Ann’s ass. Sonia’s orgasm had never let up — “it was like she was in labor” — and Ann was getting close.

Sonia asked Ann to take charge of the hose and she turned around to face her. “Don’t tell my boss,” said Sonia, as she cupped her mouth over Ann’s just as Ann was starting to lose her breath.

“I was sucking hard on her lips. I got my hands around her cheeks and spread them apart to make more room for the hose. Sonia pulled the hose up against my back and neck, weaving us closer together. It felt like we were, ohhh, it felt, like, we were, ooh, like we were suspended in the, ahh, air.”

Ann was losing her ability to recollect. “Ohh fuck, honey!” she said. She pushed Craig away and began to scream as her internal hose erupted over the Magic Wand’s big head, dousing the bed in several sprays of lust. She held the wand to her pussy as long as she could before throwing it on the floor.

Several minutes into the silence, Craig nestled up to her and asked her if that was it.

“Almost,” said Ann. “After we had come together Sonia fetched a slip of paper and a highlighter out of her apron. The paper was completely dry. She circled the URL where I could go and take a survey on her customer service.”

Sonia had a huge smile on her face. “I hope you found what you were looking for,” she said.

Junkman (@slipperyjunk) | Twitter

Leave a Reply