Denial

3 min read

I ride you, straddle you, force myself down on you. I want nothing now but this driven hardness that finds itself deep within my willing body, and the mouth that devours my own with insistent hunger.

Despite the intensity of my writhing, you control yourself with maddening ease, while I scream and test my sanity against your power.

For this is you, the instrument of my self debasement and my ecstasy, forcing me to know myself, and know that there is no other but the you that I must keep within me until my passion dissolves into a black oblivion, and I am no more.

When that time comes I shall know nothing, not you, not me, nor where we are, because you, my loving torturer, have reduced me to the object I need to be. I am here for your use, to do with as you please. I have surrendered all that I used to be. Now I must beg each climax from you, and contain my screaming frustration when you deny that right I used to have.

Instead you watch with wicked intent as I build and build within myself in ultimate obedience to your command. I obey you because I have no choice. I cannot cum unless you grant me leave to do so. It is a torture that you force me to seek again and again. All of me is yours. You are winding an ever tightening spring within me, and you know it, because the desire that is intensifying in me is focused on you. And you intend that it should be so.

I rise and rise again, each time subsiding to your command of “no,” a suffering so sweet in its pain, a torment that serves only to intensify the next wave of rising arousal. That denial is a reminder of what I am, here to impale myself upon you, so that you can use me in ways I know not.

I ride your rising crest, held on an infinite edge yet not allowed to fall. You have taken me to that edge a dozen times, then held me back with the merest look that tells me I may not take that leap. How long will you hold me as my begging increases in tune with my desperation? That I cannot know, because I will finally surrender to this insanity only when you say I can.

I did not know of the woman you found within me, desperate to be tortured in your way. You made me burst out like another being, a total slut, devouring you, thinking of nothing but you and your whispered commands, knowing all that you do is forcing me to demand more. How can you know so much of me to be able to do this?

I seek the next rise, and find myself wanting the next denial to get that intensity of pain and pleasure that is yours to give. Each wave of wanting makes me know I am your possession, that you have the power to inflict such suffering upon me, knowing that I need it to be this way.

You no longer allow my climax to be a single entity; instead I ride a storm of all consuming waves that never quite break upon you, but wash over both of us in my endless screaming maelstrom of desire. Again and again you lift me to that point of delirium, then hold me in perfect balance on that edge again as my body floods around you with wanting, knowing that your torture multiplies that want. Slowly, slowly, you allow me to get to where I want to be.

You force such wanting , so that I use you to penetrate myself in ways I do not fully understand. I must go with the flow of you, driving myself harder to force you deeper in, each time I want you deeper than before, and in the emotional vortex that is my brain, you are always deeper than before. Your loving makes our last time pale to nothing, yet I know our last time was the best that ever was.

So I search for fresh sensations that are always there, waiting to be discovered as you guide my insistent need.

This is not sex, this is an odyssey of love and madness in equal measure, where I have the freedom to roam my mind across every sensation that can be imagined, and many that cannot. But I no longer have the freedom to stop, even if I wanted to. Such is your power over me. You reach new places with every thrust, rewriting the program of my mind to register fresh sensations that I did not know were there. I force myself down, wanting you deeper, feeling the frenzy rise within you, knowing that the force of me will make you give me what I want.

Our eyes lock, no words are needed. I feel your urge within me, rising to meet my final wave. That sensation within myself like no other as my body welds itself to yours. Needing. Insistent.

At your soft command of “Now!” I become your raging beast, screaming, writhing on you so that the dozen orgasms you so sadistically denied to me hit you simultaneously. I hold myself tight to you as you rise and spurt to fill me in the way I need. Our explosion is as one, you own me because you always make it so.

I do not want to move. I want to hold you like this as your shuddering aftershocks ripple through my body. I am drained by the release of such pent up force, I only want you to hold yourself in me, to feel the joy in the softness that still possesses me.

I want you there, even as my lust for you is subsumed by euphoria. I want you there as that black oblivion takes me. I want to be in your arms, with my head on your shoulder, wrapped tight like this. Suddenly I am no longer your raging animal, but your gentle lover who needs to be safely held.

Until the next time.

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If you enjoyed my erotic thoughts, you might like my novel “Need” or maybe my book of kinky poetry

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