Part one: Getting to grips with an enjoyable problem to solve…
If you glanced at me on the street, you would look again, and if I returned the favour, you would remember. But when I look in the mirror, the woman I see is a stranger.
I thought I knew her, once.
This is my story.
I have always taken care of myself, even if life cannot always be said to have returned the favour. Work is not the problem, I run my own company, own my house, drive a nice convertible and do whatever it pleases me to do. Relationships are another matter — they have taken second best for so many years that I have lost the habit of making them work. So here am I, fast closing in on my third decade, with all my girlfriends happily married, while I try to come to terms with the fact that I scare the majority of men to death.
For years I dealt with it using retail therapy, which has only added to the problem. My best friend once described me as ‘excessively well-dressed’, this being triggered by her discovery that I owned over a hundred dresses and thought nothing of buying bras that cost more than everything she had on.
Sue has two boys in their late teens to look after and an ambitious husband to manage, whereas I can just kick my heels off the moment I get home and do as I please. I count wearing lingerie that makes me feel good as a basic human right, so put me in a business suit and you can rely on me wearing a silky string and ten denier lace top hold ups under it. My clients have no idea of whom they are dealing with, and it is probably just as well.
We were drinking a bottle of wine in my kitchen.
‘I wish I was you, Tabby. You have everything so sorted. Sometimes I think I should never have got married or taken over looking after them,’ she sighed.
I had heard that one many times. A couple of years previously she had taken the two boys under her wing. Their mother had ended her life after a drug-fuelled rollercoaster of an existence, but while it was never going to be the easiest ride, Sue’s husband had made it infinitely harder. All the same, I wasn’t too concerned, because for all Sue’s helpless little girl act, she was the stronger of the two of us, and it wasn’t as if she had gone into life or marriage as a wide-eyed innocent. It was Sue who had taught me that broad-mindedness and great sex went hand in hand, and it was she who had led the pair of us into the kind of shenanigans that would have had given her husband a fit, had he but known. The strange thing was that when sex was in the frame, Sue was the calculating one and I the impulsive one, but where the rest of life was concerned, it was the other way around — hence her marriage to Ted. But give her her due, she had stuck with him through thick and thin.
‘So what is going down with Liam?’
‘He is such an attractive guy, but he is so depressed about something. He seems to believe that he is a total failure, but I can’t think of anything he has failed at. Top of his class, captain of half the teams, what more can he want out of life?’ She lowered her voice. ‘I am convinced that it is something to do with sex, but despite all my efforts, that area is completely off-limits. Hell, I would have sex with him if I thought it would sort him out. Christine may have had many faults, but she bred very attractive young men. Just look at them and then check out how screwed up they are.’ She took a deep swig of wine.
I snorted. ‘At that age, it always is something to do with sex, especially with boys.’ Liam was only ten years younger than we were and I found it hard to imagine that anything of the sort could be the problem with him. Even I couldn’t help lusting after him — copper haired, toned and fit as he was. He was tall, just turned 20, with a sunny character and the most perfect backside I have ever seen — more than once I had allowed myself to fantasise about those firm gluteus muscles tightening under my hands as he thrust inside me. ‘He isn’t gay, by any chance?’
‘Oh no,’ she declared, ‘I am totally sure about that.’
Despite myself, it came as something of a relief. ‘But how would you know?’
‘I found his stash of porn on his laptop. Don’t look at me that way! Of course I don’t mind if he watches it.’ Suddenly she had a thought. ‘Look, do you think it would help if he came and stayed here? You get on so well together — and besides he has always had a desperate crush on you. Not long ago he confided in me that you were the most attractive woman he had ever seen.’
It was my turn to sigh. ‘Really, Sue.’ She had caught me off guard and slid under my defences, the way she always did. ‘You sound like one of those dreadful French stories we used to read when we were students.’
Her eyes went soft at the memory. We shared a flat, back then, and reading the stories had seemed like a good idea one drunken evening, leaving us to drift off to sleep in the same bed without any idea of what it would start. In the morning I woke to feel her lips around my nipple, which — to my absolute surprise — had responded by becoming stiffly and shockingly erect. To this day, despite her marriage, she remains my confidante and my most regular sexual partner, and the bond between us is unbreakably strong.
Sue put her hand on my knee as she spoke, running her fingers softly up and down my thigh. I let it rest there, enjoying the familiar dampness between my legs.
‘Oh, I am not suggesting that you seduce him… although it might do him a world of good. More than anything else, it would give him an opportunity to talk to someone he respects, who understands these things.’ She turned her grey eyes on me, slipping one hand around my neck while the other lingered for a moment under my sweater.
We kissed. That was Sue, the calculating high priestess of sex.
‘And you think I understand these things?’ I tried to arch my eyebrows, unconvincingly.
‘You know what I mean, Tabby.’ She squeezed my nipple as she kissed me again, and I did what I always did, and gave in to her.
I was extra careful about my clothes the next morning, spending far longer than I should have done trying things on, before settling on a pair of high leg lace panties with a keyhole back and a balcony bra that centred my breasts without over-emphasising my cleavage. Over that I put on a dark blouse with chiffon sleeves, and a pencil skirt over a pair of Falke hold ups I had been saving for a special occasion. I broke out some Chanel perfume and dabbed my wrists and neck, before sliding on some gold bangles and putting on a pair of heels.
As I drove over, I wondered exactly what I was letting myself in for, given that I was more or less the last person who could be said to have any expertise in relationships. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I had no idea what Liam’s problem might be, and I hadn’t really spoken to him since he had gone to university. But I needn’t have worried, because Liam was hugely glad to see me and thought my new Carrera was a blast. That broke the ice and I helped him unpack in the bedroom next to mine. Like most of the rooms in the house, it was heaving with my clothes, and I had to clear some of the drawers just to provide space for the few items he had brought.
Up close, Liam was even more devastatingly attractive than I remembered, and there was a moment when his chest somehow found itself up against mine for long enough for me to enjoy the sensation of the thin material of my blouse sliding against my skin. I felt the beginnings of an erection swell against me before I pulled back and carried on as if I hadn’t noticed. ‘I had better get some food on, or Sue will be accusing me of starving you to death.’
I learned more as we ate. Sue was correct, and his problem did seem to be something to do with girls. Liam had had a series of relationships that had gone wrong, one after another, but although I could tell that there was something more that he wanted to add, he couldn’t bring himself to add it.
I suggested a movie after dinner, and despite the fact that the sofa was wide enough to take four abreast, he plonked himself down about a dozen feet away in an armchair.
‘Liam, are you deliberately trying to avoid me?’
‘Erm… no, Tabby, I er…’
‘Don’t be shy,’ I patted the sofa next to me. ‘You are here as much for my company as anything else. Besides, it is a long while since I have had a man on my couch.’
I could have chosen my words better, but I left the double entendre hanging there.
He went puce, but gave in. He crossed over and sat on the very far end of the sofa.
‘Liam! Please…’ I slid over until our hips touched, crossed my legs, and sat as if I intended to remain.
‘Tabby, I’m just not…’ He stared at his lap, unhappily.
I put a finger under his chin and turned him to look at me. ‘Liam!’
He dropped his eyes, but realised he was looking at my breasts.
It was all I could do not to giggle. I shook my head, wrapped my arm around him and we snuggled down to watch the film, with my left boob pressed against his pecs. That broke the ice, and he didn’t try to pull away.
Over the next few days I learned a lot about his gratitude to Sue for rescuing him and his brother and of his strong dislike of Ted, but little else. I was on the verge of admitting defeat, when the opening I needed was provided by a failed piece of electronics. It was late on the third evening, and I was sitting brushing my hair ready for bed, when I heard him behind me. He was so flustered that he forgot to knock and just walked in.
When I turned, I caught sight of myself in the wall mirror and thought, well, if you had planned how to give him an eyeful, this would be the way, girl. The feeling must have been mutual, because his appearance was enough to stop me in mid-brush. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and beefcake wasn’t in it. It was all I could do not to lick my lips.
‘My charger’s failed, Tabby, do you have a spare?’ he asked, for all the world as if we were in the kitchen, and not in my bedroom, and I wasn’t half naked and him not much better. I saw the beginnings of a bulge in his pants before he scooted out.
It so happened that I did have a spare, and pausing only to grab a chiffon wrap, I scooped up the charger and near enough ran round to his room. In retrospect, the wrap wasn’t the best choice — I had bought it more for warmth than concealment and the static made it cling everywhere.
Liam took one glance and turned away. ‘You… you can’t come in,’ he squeaked, with rising panic in his voice.
I ignored the request and sat as demurely as I could. ‘We have to talk. Something is bothering you and I want to help.’
He kept his back to me and shook his head.
He shook his head again. ‘Just go out. I’ll be OK in a minute. I’ll come through, I promise.’
I walked over and put my arms around him. ‘Please, it will make me feel much better if I can only do something. I hate seeing you like this.’ His body felt taut and hard as I put my arms around his chest and pressed my breasts against his back.
‘Tabby, you are giving me a hard on. I didn’t want you to see it,’ he admitted.
I slid my hand down until I found his erection. ‘It feels rather nice,’ I replied, wrapping my fingers around it. ‘So nice that I would like to feel it inside me…if that is okay with you?’
He spun around so that his balls were pressed against my mound and the head of his cock was just below my beating heart. One look at his eyes was enough to know that the answer was yes, and one feel of his hand on my breast was enough to make me yield.
He pushed me backwards onto the bed, and we rolled over as we kissed. Then I climbed on top of him and helped him tug his pants down. The moment his penis was free, I guided it between my legs and ground down onto it. Liam choked, and a second later I felt his cock bulge, before there was the most gratifyingly sticky explosion that soaked my crotch and my thighs.
He gave a strangled yelp, struggled out from under me and curled into a tight ball.
He kept repeating, ‘I am so sorry, I am so sorry,’ over and over again into the pillow, all the while resisting my every move, but I found the strength to pull him onto his back and straddle him again. By now his penis had gone limp, but it was still gratifyingly big and I pulled my panties aside so I could feel its hot, come-lubricated length against my slit. I put both hands on his chest and, mustering as much composure as I could, asked, ‘What on earth are you apologising for? That was rather nice.’ I angled my pelvis slightly so that my clitoris came into contact and I could rock stealthily against him.
His eyes emerged from under the sheet. ‘You enjoyed it?’ He looked astonished and rather cute. ‘But I came so incredibly quickly… and now there is all this mess.’
I looked down. It was true there had been a flood, and there were magnificent clots of liquefying semen everywhere. I slid a hand between my legs, and lifted it to show my sticky palm, with skeins of his come stringing between my fingers. ‘But it is a rather nice mess.’ I continued my rocking as licked my hands clean, with what I hoped came over as a cat-like purr of contentment.
‘You don’t mind?’ His expression was like the sun coming up.
‘Well… it would have been better if you had taken a little longer and if you had come inside me, but I don’t mind training you to be a little less impatient…’ I swept one of the larger clots off his tummy with a finger and downed that too. My clit was so sensitive that conversation was shortly going to become impossible.
He blushed yet again. ‘I have never had a girl do that before.’
‘I imagine there are a lot of things you have never seen a girl do, but it doesn’t mean to say that there aren’t girls who will do them.’ I sighed, moved down the bed and set about licking his groin clean in as ladylike a way as I could manage under the circumstances. His balls were as well proportioned as the rest of him and as I cupped them in my hand, I began to wonder whether I could have got him inside me even if he hadn’t come in such short order. ‘Liam, you are quite large, have you ever had trouble… getting inside?’
‘Fine, we’ll deal with that one later. Do you promise to lie still and not to run away if I get off you?’
He nodded again.
‘All I am going to do is to take my panties off.’ My pubes were clotted and the whole room stank of semen. By any normal standard of sex it had been a complete disaster, but I felt happy with the result, and more than a little turned on. I ran some water into the sink, dropped in my knicks, shrugged off my wrap, and climbed back into bed. For a moment, I think he was worried that I was going to ask him to do it all over again.
‘Listen,’ I put a finger on his lips. ‘I meant what I said. We can sort this, just the two of us. But there are going to have to be some rules. The first is that we sleep together in this bed. The second is that you do everything I ask you to do; the third is that we talk — honestly and openly — about sex; and the fourth is that it is going to take a while.’
To a straight-thinking twenty-year-old, the list shouldn’t have been a hard sell, but in his anguished state, Liam took a certain amount of convincing.
‘Okay, but what about Sue and you…’
‘Sue is married to Ted, remember? We love each other to bits, but she has never asked me to stop sleeping with other people any more than I have asked her.’ With that I laid my head on his chest and put my arm around him. His premature ejaculation must have been a sore disappointment to his girlfriends, but every cloud has a silver lining. Once I had fixed it, I was going to allow myself the luxury of reaping the benefits.
There was a long silence.
‘What about the bed?’ he asked.
My left hip was in a big damp patch. ‘That’s what washing machines are for, you dolt. I take it you have heard of those?’
There was another long pause. Then, ‘Tabby, do you always sleep with your bra on?’
‘What a shockingly personal question.’ I rolled onto my front and lifted my hair clear. ‘You can undo it, if you want.’ The way he struggled with the hooks spoke volumes, but eventually, the back dropped open and I turned onto my side, feeding a breast into his waiting mouth. ‘Mmmm, that’s nice… now just a little slower would be perfect… Yesss, just there…’
To be continued…