Part thirty: Sealing the deal
‘The maddeningly frustrating thing about sex from my point of view is the conflict between what my head wants, what my heart wants, and what my pussy wants. My head wants intimacy and sensuality, my heart craves passion and my puss desires nothing more than a hunk who will fill her up with semen while the rest of me lies still and waits for it. The worst trouble is that it is impossible to forecast which of the three will win.
With women, my puss doesn’t get the vote, but she seldom complains, because they are usually so much better at satisfying my heart and my head that there is rarely any room for dispute. But much though I love having sex with men, my only regret is that I have rarely come across one that ticks all of my sexual boxes.
Maybe my ideal man does not exist — scary thought — not that it has held me back. The trouble is that the more they satisfy my puss, the less they satisfy my head and my heart, and vice versa. It took me a long while to realise that Sue understood this equation before I did, and that in the sexual encounters she organised for us back in our student days, she instinctively provided for my needs where the men didn’t. She responded to the sensual side of me right from the start, embracing my addiction to lingerie and all soft things, feeding herself to me clad in chiffon and lace in such a heady mix that I can’t recall if I fell in love with her before I fell in lust. Once Sue entered my life, she has never left, even if she did marry Ted.’
‘But what about Toby?’ asked Elaine.
‘What about Toby?’
‘Well he’s a guy, and from everything you have said he is extremely sensual and passionate. Doesn’t he tick all your boxes?’
‘There is one tiny drawback that you haven’t mentioned, Elaine.’
‘What, his crossdressing? Don’t forget that this is your analyst speaking. He loves lingerie, you love lingerie. He loves nice clothes, you love nice clothes. You provide for him and in return, he cares for you and makes you feel good. Is there something I am missing here, Tabby?’
‘The problem is that I’m not totally onside with the idea of having sex with a man who is dressed as a woman. There are times when I feel better about it than others.’
‘But you have had sex with him, am I right?’
‘Yes, once or twice.’
‘And how did it go?’
’It was very nice.’
‘Was it as nice as having sex with a woman dressed as a woman?’
I thought for a moment. ‘Alright, alright. Yes it was. Different, but as nice.’ I still felt ambivalent.
‘And do you get wet feeling his backside through a pair of knickers?’
‘Yes… but something in me holds back on the idea of putting my hand there.’
‘On the other hand, something in you feels let down at the idea of having sex with studs who don’t provide what your head and your heart are looking for. Could it be that we are looking at your pussy speaking here?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Angie says that walking in and finding you sucking Toby off in the kitchen was one of the most erotic moments in her entire life. She also told me he is the only man she has ever been to bed with, and she strikes me as a woman who is probably extremely hard to satisfy from a sexual point of view. Forgive me, but it sounds as if there is plenty going for this guy, just as long as you are prepared to weight what your head and your heart want above your pussy’s siren call. And the only bit of that he doesn’t provide is that he isn’t a hunk.’
‘If you put it like that, then yes, it is pretty hard to argue against it.’
‘Tell me about a time when you had sex with a man who ticked all your boxes.’
‘There’s a guy called Roland. But he lives in Switzerland and even if he can’t resist me, he’s married, and I have caused enough chaos in that department already.’
‘Tell me about another.’
I thought for a long while. ‘Well, there was a guy at a dinner party…’
It had been a boring business thing one evening at a house not very far from mine, and I was at the point where if someone had mentioned the phrase ‘due diligence’ one more time I would have screamed the place down. So I made an excuse and went out for a breather, and found a guy out on the veranda who had excused himself five minutes earlier. In the meeting he had been quiet, but on the rare occasions he had spoken he had commanded everyone’s attention, and I would have noticed it when he got up and went out even if he hadn’t been over six foot and built like a bull.
As we enjoyed the cool breeze coming off the gardens I could hardly ignore him, so I said, ‘You out here to think?’
He snorted. ‘More like I am out here to clear my head of the shit being peddled in there.’
I nearly choked. ‘You too?’
‘Me too.’ He looked me up and down.
‘Go on, say it.’
‘Say what?’
‘Say, what is a nice girl like you doing wasting her time in a meeting full of losers like this?’ I prompted.
‘You could ask the same of me,’ he replied, turning around and leaning back with his elbows on the balustrade. ‘Look at them.’ He waved a hand at the faces dimly visible through a veil of leaves thrown by an abundance of exotic pot plants that must have cost a fortune to keep watered, let alone to purchase. ‘They have forgotten that we even exist, and yet if you and I don’t say yes, then they don’t have a deal. Despite that, they are locking down the small print before they have even thought of asking us if we are going to play ball. In point of fact, we could fuck each other out here and they wouldn’t know we had done it.’ He turned back and stared moodily into the gathering dusk.
I still don’t know what made me say it, and I still don’t know why it had the effect it did on him, beyond the fact that I am what I am, but the next thing I knew, he had slammed me up against the nearest pillar and our tongues were locked together, while his hand squeezed my breast and mine fought with his zip.
‘You’ll have to be quick,’ I gasped, when we came up for air.
‘I’ve ruined your makeup,’ he replied, as I managed to free his cock so that its length pressed hotly against my belly.
‘If you don’t make me come, I won’t sign the deal with you.’
He had my dress half unzipped, and it fell down around my waist. I was wearing a half cup bra and he began kissing the exposed parts of my breasts. ‘Are you suggesting we cut the others out of this deal?’
I pulled down a strap so that he could suck a nipple. ‘In a word, yes.’
‘Then what is the most satisfying way of making you come?’
I pulled down the other strap, taking a sideways glance at the window and hoping that the darkness and the plants meant that the others couldn’t see what was going on only a few yards away from them. ‘Just spear me on that beautiful cock of yours and fuck me until I pass out.’
He swapped sides. By now my nipples were tingling and my puss was wet with anticipation. He began to kiss the underside of my boobs, so I undid my bra and let it drop, revelling in the feeling of his scratchy stubble against my soft skin.
‘We don’t have forever!’ I hissed, taking another look at the window. ‘It only takes one of them to wonder what we are doing out here…’
‘Fuck ’em, you have the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen.’
‘If you take any longer kissing them, they will definitely start wondering where we are!’ I whispered. I really, really didn’t want to be caught like this, even if he didn’t give a damn.
He pulled down my string, and as I was stepping out of it, his tongue swept my pussy lips aside to meet a tidal wave of juice. ‘You smell of great sex,’ he grunted.
‘Shhhhh!’ I spread my legs as much as I could, and held his head against me as his tongue completed its caressing of my labia before parting them as it went in search of my clit. ‘Ohhhhhhh, shit!’ I gasped, as it found its target and completed a first slow circle around it.
‘And there you were telling me to be quiet. Stand still and let me get you properly wet, woman.’
‘If I get any wetter than this, you will drown.’ I choked on the first warning of an impending orgasm, and as I did, I felt his hands slide over my hips and around my waist, as he stood up and penetrated me in one smooth, accomplished movement. I felt completely dominated and could think of nothing but the imperious progress of his cock as it delved ever deeper within me, though as it did, I was dimly aware of him picking me up and depositing me on the balustrade as if I had been a feather pillow. As my bottom landed on the rail, I wrapped my legs around him and clung to him as my orgasm blew my heart and my brain away, leaving my puss in sole charge and completely ready to receive.
He stilled his thrusts to give me time to recover. When the last shudders had died away, I found myself clinging to him with the side of my head against his chest and my hands clutching his shoulders. I kissed him on the nose, ‘I must look a mess, but if you promise to empty yourself inside me, I think we can ink this deal.’
By now he was as deeply into me as I thought it was possible to get, but he lifted me off the wall until I was balanced on his cock with my legs around him, and he stood holding me as he sank in even deeper. By then I was past caring if everyone at the meeting had walked out to watch the show, and we locked gazes while he gripped my buttocks and began to lift and drop me in perfect counterpoint to his thrusts. Every last piece of me wanted to yell at him to come, and I could feel my puss readying itself, in as much as I could appreciate anything beyond the pounding I was getting. Sweat was running down my back, my boobs were glistening, and my crotch and thighs were slick with my juice as I held him tight, crushing my breasts against his pecs and giving myself completely to his will.
When he came, I really did think I was going to pass out. There was a great rush from my puss that made me open my mouth wide, but fortunately he clapped a hand over it before I had a chance to let out a squeak. Then I felt his abs stiffen and his pelvis go tight, before his cock gave a couple of twitches and I felt the familiar warm, wet, comforting heat spread deep inside me.
We kissed and he held me there for so long that he began to soften inside me. Unbelievably, he was still holding me clear of the ground, and I rested my head on his shoulder for a while before I gathered my wits. ‘I left my bag inside. Can you be a darling and fetch it so I can clean up?’
He lowered me gently down, and — with great regret — I felt his cock slide out of me. On an impulse, I knelt and took its soft length in my mouth, sucking it clean, and then I held it clear while I licked away the abundant trickles of semen that had run down his balls and clotted his dense pubic hair into a jellied mat.
When I was done, he lifted me to my feet and handed me my bra. ‘Put this on and I will return the favour.’
‘But I am soaking down there! And what if they come out?’
He glanced at the windows. ‘They won’t. They are still arguing over nothing.’ Then he went down on his knees and began to clean me up with broad strokes of his tongue. His eyes were laughing. ‘I didn’t realise I had produced quite so much come.’
I fastened my bra and as he handed me my panties, it was my turn to pull him to his feet. His face was glistening with a combination of my juice and his semen, and I kissed it away, before our mouths connected hungrily. ‘Put my knickers back on,’ I commanded.
‘I don’t remember this being anywhere in the service-level agreement,’ he chided, but did it anyway.
I wriggled them into place. ‘Now do up my dress.’ He pulled up my zip as I held my hair clear. ‘That was fantastic.’
‘If I go in and get your bag, can we just abandon them to it? I don’t think they have even noticed we have left.’
‘I can’t go back in there looking like this, that’s for sure. Call my PA tomorrow and we’ll finalise the deal over coffee.’
‘Is it a condition that I have to get you to come again?’
‘I’ll speak to my lawyer.’
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